Shopping And All

It actually feels very nice to get up fresh in the morning, having cleared the emotional clutter of last week, and to write about something which is so very close to my heart, or, no, something that has now become an inseparable part of my whole existence upon this planet - Shopping!! I'm sure that all the ladies who happen to have come across this piece, would now not be willing to give up on reading the rest of it; and as far as the men are concerned, even they can feel free to read on...

So, I'd told you that I was pretty darned upset last week - for the uninitiated, I'd been a victim of one highly dangerous sadist - and so I'd spent quite a lot of my time simply moping away, you know, staring blankly out of the window, not talking or smiling much, and all that. It was in those moments of self-doubt and emotional outbursts, when Shopping came to my rescue like some old and trusted friend.

It took me even less than a second to decide that all I needed to do was to hold the hands of my Guardian Angel (Her Excellency, Shopping), and let her guide my way out of that feeling of despair which hung in the air all around me. So, I simply followed the cue and found my way to the only shopping mall in the city - not that it is much of a mall, by the by - and let myself loose upon most of the too-willing saleswomen who welcomed me into their showrooms with bright smiles and hellos.

I felt that air of gloom lifting up and being replaced by the very-familiar breeze of cheerfulness as I tried piece after piece of clothing, and examined one accessory after another. I could feel life returning to my body. I could feel the sparkle returning to my eyes. I could smile without having to fake any emotions.

I returned with just a single piece of clothing and matching earrings after nearly 2 hours of effort. But most importantly, I returned with myself! So, all in all, it's not really a bad exercise, this shopping. I hope all you men out there are listening!!

The Sadist

Well, okay, the title doesn't demand much explanation this time around, and this really bugs me because there's no way I can use the curtain-raising moment to showcase my skills at sarcasm, or to blow a bit of my own trumpet. So much for having my own blog, and all that jazz! But, to start with it all, I'd like to have the definition here for all of you understand what's going to follow. So, according to Dictionary.com (a wonderful online dictionary, by the way), a sadist gets sexual gratification by causing pain to others, and such a person ENJOYS being cruel.

And, I became one of the victims of one of the several of this particular species, just a couple of days ago.

The effect which such people have on the psyche of normal, happy and chirpy birds like yours truly, is quite tear-evoking and also hatred-evoking. Once such a person has unleashed one of his tricks upon the folks belonging to the latter category, there's no way they can manage to regain their smiling demeanor and hopeful attitude towards life for the next few days at least. It's like you suddenly got engulfed by something dark and vicious from all around; like the flow of something vital in you, got stopped. The feeling of hopelessness and despair is too crushing, at times.

It is in one of these moments when the erstwhile chirpy bird can seem to remember almost all the profanities and cuss words he/she ever heard in their life, but this time, they speak them out aloud with quite a lot of malice intertwined. They wonder if it were indeed possible for such a person to have been created by the Lord Almighty. It seems more likely that the Devil got to work on their mind.

The sadist just laughs away while you writhe away in pain; he smirks with a malicious glint in his eyes while you grind your teeth because your hands are tied with the cords of institutional-setups; he immerses himself in pleasure as he bruises one more of his victim knowing fully well that the healing would be a long, painful process, and the scars may even stay there for life.

I may see light again after some more days because I have a strong emotional support, but I wonder what happens to the less fortunate of my kind. I'll try to come up with a lighter piece of writing which sounds happier and more cheerful, next time. But thanks for reading through my grief.

Post-Twilight Syndrome

Now, isn't this one a self-explanatory title as well? And so, without taking up much time and writing space in telling all and sundry about my now-famous quality of giving apt titles to my posts, I would immediately get down to today's business.

As a prelude to whatever is going to follow, I want to tell all you people that I read all the four books in the Twilight Series within a span of THREE days! While I read through this charming series, I skipped meals without realizing that I was hungry, I missed my lectures without any regard for the then-upcoming Minors, I stepped out of my room only when it was ABSOLUTELY essential, I talked only if there was no other option available, I logged-in to my Facebook account only to post status updates about the reading experiences of this very series; in short, I behaved like someone possessed, or better still, like some young-woman-on-a-mission!!

And then, before I'd even had enough of this saga, it was all over. I'd fallen hopelessly in love with Edward Cullen, his mystique, and the entire magic that he had woven so effortlessly all around me and my whole world; and then, suddenly, it was all over. It was as if I had been cruelly pulled-out of some beautiful enigmatic world; as if he was reality and for some odd reason I was being made to live a long nightmare. I would dream of him while I slept, and my waking hours were more-or-less devoted to thinking about him, and him alone. 

Twilight had become my world, and Edward Cullen had become my God; and I don't care if it's a blasphemy because for me, this was the truth.

Things got a tad bit better after a few days, but that feeling of awe has still not subsided. 

But it's amazing, you know, this feeling of loosing control...

Belated Wishes and All

For all those who think that this post is going to be some kind of an open apology letter to somebody whom I forgot to wish on their birthday or anniversary, it's definitely not so. But yes, it does concern two people, who were very close to me till a few years ago and who's birthdays fell on the same day, the 27th January, i.e., yesterday.

We don't talk anymore. We don't know what the other one is doing these days. We don't even talk about each other with our common friends. We're not interested in each other's lives, anymore. We're not even Facebook friends (imagine that!).

There was a time when we were very close friends; the inseparable sorts, if you know what I mean. There was a time when we hadn't even imagined that we would get to be at such a stage in our shared lives when we wouldn't even care to know what is happening to the other ones.

And when I say all this, it doesn't imply that I'm blaming them for not keeping in touch, and for just going "poof" from my life all of a sudden. Even I had ceased to make efforts after a certain point of time. I don't know if I could have done better than what I did. And, I don't know what may happen if, at some point of time in our lives, we were to stumble upon each others' existence once again. Would we even acknowledge the other one's presence? I don't know.

It was their birthday yesterday. And I was reminded of the time when I used to try and be the first one to wish them. Then, I just stopped caring, for some odd reason.

Happy Belated Birthday, you two girls! I wish with all my heart that you would get to read this. I didn't want to write this last sentence, but I still did, again, for some odd, unknown reason.

I'm not sad. But I just wonder what this life would have been like WITH them. I guess I would never know how we came to this point where we'd outgrown that beautiful friendship.

Nothingness..

This time around, I'd get down to explaining the title of this post right at the beginning, without much ado. I'm sure I can hear some loud cheers already from all those who are tired of lengthy, often bordering-on-the-boring and nearly-satirical passages which seem to precede any relevant and meaningful stuff that is even remotely related to the topic of the post. And, in case you've failed to notice, even this little piece of self-admonition was just that - lengthy and irrelevant. But then, old habits die hard, you know.

Well, coming back to the afore-mentioned explanation, I decided to do this particular post because it was grand plan of mine to announce to the whole world, or at least to those inhabitants of this planet who happen to come across this particular blog (the rest will never know, poor souls), that I've spent one entire week doing absolutely NOTHING!! That's right, I did absolutely nothing worthwhile with my life for an entire week. And it was an experience which can not be expressed in words.

It was a mix of frustration which arose out of the fact that I was not doing ANYTHING at all - constructive or destructive, and a feeling of supreme relaxation at having resigned myself totally to my fate. For the first time in my life, I spent such a long period without having achieved some milestone in at least one of the several endeavors which I'm used to taking up all at the same time. And the unbelievable part of it is that I don't feel any kind of a regret at having done such a thing.

And to top it all, I don't even know what more to say about it...

So here's a post, from an authoress as illustrious as yours truly, which is going to end abruptly.

Catching Up..

Now then, I know that it's been pretty long since I last posted on this blog. I've been sort of off-radar, and stuff like that. I guess you guys must have even pronounced me guilty of "ignoring" you all!! Well, okay, I HAVE ignored this personal space of mine for quite some time now, and I do have some reasons to offer. And I know that it's useless to even try and put forth any of those reasons for they would be looked down upon as being some mere excuses!! And I'd be accused of hiding behind them in order to escape any tart comments!

But, believe me when I say that I'd take even that in my stride, if that is what is required to pacify all you guys.

And as I say this, I'm reminded of all those moments (and they do seem to occur so very frequently after we're through with our formal education and the related procedures) when we come across some old friend after a very long gap. Accusations fly from one end to the other as each party tries to portray itself as being innocent and put the other one in the dock. We are sure as hell that we are the wronged side and the friend in question is some sort of a criminal who had the gall to not get in touch for such a long time.

Amid all this, we conveniently forget that we might as well have made the first move, but then, that is human nature, and little can be done to rectify it.

But this doesn't mean that we stop being buddies with them. The good part is that somewhere deep within us, we remember all those moments wherein we were all together and cherish them in our hearts. We may not talk frequently, but we wish our friends well, wherever they may be..

"You and I will meet again, 

When we're least expecting it, 

One day in some far off place, 

I will recognize your face, 

I won't say goodbye my friend, 

For you and I will meet again"

-Tom Petty